Let's Talk About SEX
Such a taboo subject yet so absolutely relevant. Last week, I spent the morning with a sex therapist (she was a guest speaker at The Ace Class' Toast event) and what a revolution of freedom. Nobody talks about it yet it is such an important topic.
Having been married for 33 years, I thought I knew a fair bit about my sexual health….NOPE.
The take away from the lecture was for each of us (woman more so) to OWN their Sexual Health. There are certain innate needs we all have and time, circumstance and medications often play havoc with this aspect of our lives, and it’s the taboo topic to even talk about. Not anymore!
Knowing your body, intimately, and knowing what you need for your sexual health is up to YOU. Don’t expect your partner to guess or to just “know”, that will lead to disappointment and “meh” sexual experiences. Knowing that men’s sexual organs need less than 2 minutes (research based) to feel the excitement, it takes woman’s much larger orgasmic platform, at least 10-15 minutes to be “ready”. These significant time differences are often pushed aside, again, leading to a “meh” experience instead of a “holy sh**” hair blown back experience.
This particular therapist, Trina E Reid, believes sensuality is a lost art. Currently, according to her many interviews, she encouraged everyone to remember a time when they felt sexy, wore something sexy or “played” sexy and bring it back! You know what makes you sensual, so harness that. There is no longer the belief that enjoying your sexual encounters or feeling “shame” for enjoying these times is delinquent thinking.
There was a question/answer period during this session and one of the questions was around how do you manage a partner who isn’t interested because of their current medication regime. Trina was so gracious and really brought back what sex looks like to each of us. Part of sex is the connection piece, being together, just touching and caressing. That being said, Trina really encouraged communication in the form of a “we” scenario. If the medication is affecting your partner, bring it up that maybe “we” could try being sensual and not worry about the “other” stuff, which could leave your partner feeling less than adequate.
The other take away from this session was that if communication is difficult, try booking an appointment with a therapist and talking to someone you don’t know. This will help get the conversation started. There is a slow but steady shift in the perception of what sexual health really is and how vitally important it is to any relationship, new or long term.
Remember, it was because “someone” had sex that we are all on this earth. Everybody does it and wouldn’t it be great if it wasn’t just a discussion amongst girlfriends after 1 or 3 glasses of wine!